In light of recent events in my life and those previous, I wish to discuss and share something very important to me. I’d wish that my lifetime and energy not be in vain, but that it serve a purpose, primarily to inspire others. I wish to strive to become the best version of myself possible for me and those around me.
My life has been what I would consider a difficult road, maybe not the hardest of all, but with its fair share of bumps that have left scars. If you know anything about me, it’s that for a very long time I’ve played by the rules of external validation. Like many, I’ve prioritized a life of achievement & endless pursuit of appraisal in my search for happiness.
Year after year, checking off boxes that have left me feeling anything but fulfilled, a handful of times I’ve decided enough is enough, but not enough to learn my lesson.
Quite recently, I had another one of those moments where I thought to myself – enough is enough. And this time I meant it.
I wish to pursue the things that matter to me most, and that includes creating a life I’m in love with every single day. I’m not saying a perfect life, but a life where I’m content with my choices and aligned with my values.
The concept of self love has for a long time avoided me, or more so, I’ve avoided it. For a long time I’ve thought that self love was nothing more than a luxury for only the egotistical, self-centered narcissist. For years I’ve pushed “myself” so far back in the metaphorical chamber of my priorities that I’ve become a stranger to myself. I won’t be afraid to admit that one day I woke up to someone in the mirror that I refused to believe was me.
Today, I very much stand by the idea that happiness is not a destination, but a journey. A self love journey, but this isn’t something that’s taught directly in any school I know of. It’s taught supposedly indirectly and then pushed to the back by many other conflicting lessons we’re taught as children.
The idea of being complacent to me is a form of self torture, but that’s led me to never fully appreciate myself in this moment. Always striving for better and finding discontentment in the sense of lacking.
I’m looking forward to regaining a semblance of contentment, starting by taking a journey through self love. I was inspired by Teal Swan, a spiritual teacher in one of her processes titled “365 days of Self Love”. I wish to document my journey and hopefully inspire others to do the same and extend it beyond the 365 days.
I hope that my journey can be a source of inspiration to others as they see the real time journey I embark on. From today on out, I’ll ask myself “What would someone who loves themselves do?” in light of Teal’s suggestion in her challenge to the rest of us.
With all sincerity,
PS: To me, self love is about knowing yourself and your values and then aligning yourself and your choices with those values in the order you find them most important. It is also about accepting your imperfections as a part of yourself and continuing to love yourself regardless of those imperfections. I hope you will join me in this very real journey of self love.